


All the Old Familiar Places

by DreamWithinADream



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, F/M, Memory Loss, Not Canon Compliant, Temporary Amnesia, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWithinADream/pseuds/DreamWithinADream
Summary: In a moment, a split second, everything changes.Darcy and Steve were just starting their lives together, happy and in love.It all unravels when Steve is injured during a routine mission.Can they overcome the obstacles that face them and rebuild what they had.Or is their life together ending before it really even started?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Hello.  
> Second MCU story here. 
> 
> In a word, I am not okay after Endgame.  
> But I will leave that for another day. 
> 
> However, this story has been in the works for months but between school, my copious amount of needy children, and my two businesses I haven't had a chance to finish it.  
> Until now.  
> It is one hundred percent trope-y and I have resigned myself to that.  
> No need to point out how overdone it is.  
> I know it is.  
> I just couldn't help myself. This is my spin on it. 
> 
>  
> 
> This story is complete and will update regularly. 
> 
> I do not have a beta at the moment so all mistakes are my own.  
> Feel free to point them out but please remember, I do this for fun.  
> Unless you want to pay me, then yeah... let's talk.

It wasn’t often that they woke up like this; slowly and wrapped up in each others arms with her hair tickling his nose. He smiled to himself, humming contentedly as he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. 

“Ugh. I need coffee,” she groaned, joining him in the land of consciousness, “What time is it?”

“Early,” he replied, clearing his throat of the roughness that had settled there. “Didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“You didn’t,” she grumbled before she reached up to kiss the line of his jaw, her lips pressing against the column as her hand moved across his chest. 

It wasn’t often they woke up like this but it was becoming more frequent now that the world didn’t need as much saving. Now that his life had started to be his own. 

Her hand moved slowly under the blanket, her lithe fingers tickling the bare skin as she made a path of pebbled skin straight towards his cock. 

“Is it too early?” she asked as she stopped just above his pelvic bone, her hand splayed flat, teasing. 

He smiled as he looked down into her wide and playful eyes, the mischief barely concealed. With one easy swoop he had turned them, pulling her underneath him with a shriek as he pressed his want against her stomach.  “Never.” 

They met then, their lips pressed together and their tongues dancing. Igniting a fire within him that never seemed to die. 

His fingers tangled in her mess of dark hair, the same hair that tickled him awake in the middle of the night and stole his pencils when she couldn’t find an elastic. 

“Steve-” she said as she pulled away, “I haven’t- I need to take my birth control,” she said as his lips moved from hers to her neck and he paused. 

It was now or never, he thought as he met her gaze. 

“I was thinking,” he said quietly, looking at her, “I was thinking maybe we could start trying.” 

She bit her bottom lip as it quirked up, “really?”

“Really.” 

“You’re ready for that now?”   
“No,” he said softly, before he reached up to cup her face with his palm, “I’ve been ready for that since the moment I met you sweetheart. I just- had to wait for the world to be ready too.” 

“And is it?” her words were soft and hesitant but he could sense the greater power behind them. The want. The need. 

“It’s going to have to be,” he said honestly, “Because I’m tired of waiting.” 

He pressed his mouth to hers once more, meeting her exuberance before she reached down to push his sleep trousers down, exposing his hardened member. 

She was ready for him as he pushed inside of her and she moved against him, trying to pull him further in still. 

“Slow down,” he said with a laugh as he braced his hands on either side of her pillow, “We’ve got all the time in the world.” 

She laughed as she steadied her pace, her hips meeting his rhythm as they worked together until she came undone and he followed soon after. 

As she stood up, pulling on one of his discarded t-shirts that fell to her soft, creamy thighs, he realized he was exactly where he wanted to be. 

And he was ready for so much more. 

* * *

“Mister and Missus Rogers,” Friday said as they stepped into the elevator two hours later. “Mister Stark is looking for you, should I alert him to your arrival.”

Darcy groaned as she tipped her head back and looked up at the ceiling while Steve smiled around the lip of his coffee cup. They had spent a lazy morning in bed before stopping in for a pastry at their favorite bakery down the street. 

“That’s fine Friday,” Steve answered for his wife finally and she shot him a look. “What?”

“He’s going to know we came in together,” she explained as Steve stared; She went on. “He’ll make a joke about how we  _ came  _ together. And to protect your virtue I’ll have to keep my comeback to myself and then he’ll just take that as a yes and-” 

Steve stepped towards her then and she backed into the wall behind her as he tipped her chin up with his free hand, “So let him talk.” 

Before she could argue, he cut her off, his lips pressed to hers in a kiss he was pretty sure would be deemed inappropriate at work. He smiled against her lips as he felt the elevator come to a stop and then-

“Ugh, my eyes. Steve, back away from my lab assistant.” 

Steve grinned down at Darcy who shoved on his shoulder with a grin, “You planned that.” 

“If I said I did?” he asked quietly. 

She rolled her eyes and moved past him, “Tony, It’s lab  _ manager _ and also public relations manager now remember?” 

Tony sputtered, “Just, keep the  _ public relations  _ out of my elevators.I don’t need to hear about how my security cameras could put the porn industry out of business-”  

Steve laughed as Darcy shook her head at the man before she gave him a sharp glance, “Not a word Steven Grant-” 

He reached out to push the button for his floor before he held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m not the one that talks about our sex life with the Black Widow.” 

“Tasha doesn’t count-” she said to Steve before she turned to a hurt looking Tony, “No Tony, I’m not giving you any details- Just- get back to work.” 

Steve was still laughing as the doors closed behind them and he leaned back against the wall of the elevator. A year ago he wouldn’t have thought his life could be like this as he and a select few worked on restoring order and bringing back those they had lost. In those moments it had felt like the world would never right itself; that the worst had come and there was no going back. 

He remembered what it had felt like, the desperation and the ache that had settled deep within his bones. He had, at his lowest, felt like the old man he was. Hopeless, helpless. He had kept going forward merely because it was what was expected. Someone had to fix the problem after all. 

And then,  _ she _ had walked in. 

“Hey,” he stopped in his tracks as he stepped out of the elevator and Natasha fell into step beside him. “Where’s Darce?”

“Tony nabbed her,” he said as he finished the dregs of his cup and turned to toss it in the trash receptacle at the end of the hall he was walking towards. 

“He texted me earlier, trying to convince me to call you two. I told him to leave you alone, you were probably fucking her into the mattress.” 

Steve shook his head but didn’t argue. It was a game the two played together, a game that neither of them were going to win but they played nonetheless. Trying to goad the other into a retreat. 

“She’ll probably text you soon,” he said instead as they walked towards the gym together. “She’ll want to tell you first.” 

“Why? Is she pregnant?-” 

“What? No. I mean, not yet.” Steve said with a sly grin at his friend. “That we know of anyway.” 

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him but her lips pulled up anyway before she nodded her head, “Spar with you?”

Steve nodded, “Of course. Best two out of three?”

Natasha grinned, “Better make it five out of six.” 

* * *

He was tired and sweaty when he got home that evening and tossed his bag down on the floor, his keys in the little dish on the table that stood by their entry.

“Honey, I’m home,” he called out as he slipped out of his shoes and padded into the kitchen. 

The music was up loud, reverberating through their open loft space and he smiled to himself as he watched his wife dancing in front of the stove to some upbeat song. 

She was in flowery pajama bottoms and an old ratty Culver sweatshirt that had more holes than not; the neck stretched so much that it hung off one of her bare shoulders. Her hair was up and he was pretty sure if she turned around he’d see that she had taken off her makeup and her bra and taken out her contacts. She was gorgeous and he felt his heart titter against his ribs as he watched her dance just as a slower song came on through the speaker. 

She moved to pick up the phone, probably to change it, and he swooped in, pulling her against him as they started to dance in the middle of their kitchen. 

She smiled up at him as they swayed in time to the steady beat of the music and he realized he didn’t know of a time where he could think of that he had been happier or more content. 

He wasn’t just home. 

She  _ was _ home. 

And she was his.

* * *

 

  
“Don’t forget we have my appointment this afternoon at four,” Darcy said as they walked, hand in hand into the elevator. 

“Did you tell the boss?”

Darcy smirked, “I told the boss that counts.” 

“Pepper?”

She laughed and he smiled at her as they pushed the button for her stop.

"Have you told him yet?" Steve asked as they watched the doors. 

Darcy swallowed but shook her head, "No, I will, I just- what if he-" 

"Tell him when you're ready sweetheart. But know that it will be fine, for both of you." 

she sighed but gave a nod as the elevator came to a stop, he kissed her once more before she hopped off with a quick “see you at lunch” over her shoulder before she hurried to attend to one explosion or another.

Steve was still shaking his head at the look of terror on the lab assistants faces when they had seen Darcy when the elevators stopped two floors below his stop and the doors opened. He clenched his teeth as the woman walked in, not meeting his gaze, and the doors slowly slid shut. 

There was silence for a moment and he thought, perhaps-

“Steve-” 

“Not today Sharon,” he said quietly and he was thankful for Tony’s insistence on quick elevator rides as the doors opened on his stop and he slid out, ignoring the feeling of anger that washed over him before the doors slid shut behind him. 

Today was not the day. 

Nor would it ever be. 

He had barely made it three feet into his appointed office space when the door opened once more. 

“We’ve got a call-” Natasha said. “Wheels up in ten.” 

Steve sighed, “alien takeover?”

“Would you believe me if I said not this time,” Nat smiled as she turned and headed out, “Gotta go find Clint. Wheels up in ten!” 

Steve set his stuff down and pulled out his phone, shooting a quick text to his wife before he turned to the closet that held his suit and with a sigh, pulled it out to get ready. 

* * *

In the end, it wasn’t aliens, a megalomaniac hell bent on world domination, or any combination of the two. 

Instead it was a bus full of children that had veered off the road and ended up on a frozen lake. 

“If this is what our job is reduced to,” said Clint as he carried a girl with what appeared to be a broken femur towards the bank, “I’m not going to complain.” 

Steve agreed as he helped the girl to sit down before he wrapped a blanket around her and set off back towards the bus. 

“Hey, looks like we got a few that wandered off towards the east end, I’m en route to drop off a couple of kids,” Sam said, “Anyone close?”

“I got it,” Tony said as he flew overhead, “Steve, Darcy wants me to tell you that you have an appointment at four.”

“Yeah, thanks Tony,” he replied through his comm as helped one of the last students off of the ice. 

“It wouldn’t happen to be a therapy appointment would it? Trouble in paradise already? I knew she was too good for you.” 

“Tony-” Natasha said warning through her device, “Don’t make me tell Darcy you’re picking on her husband-” 

“You wouldn’t,” Tony said lightly and Steve shook his head as the two continued to bicker. 

“I’m going to do a last sweep,” he finally said, “Make sure we don’t have any other wanderers.” 

Clint gave a nod from beside him as he helped up the girl with the help of one of her more burly peers. 

Steve moved away, listening to Natasha and Tony argue about just who had set him and Darcy up and he finally grew tired of it and flicked off his comms as he made his way towards the thick copse of trees at the other end of the frozen lake. 

He was just barely to the edge when he saw the girl, her forehead bloody and her knees pulled to her chest. He hurried his steps towards the girl without thought or hesitation. 

“Oh, hey,” he said softly as she jerked away from him. “It’s ok, we’re going to get you out of here.” 

He took a step forward and she reeled backwards as a thunderous crack emanated from below him. He had only just pushed his comm button as the world fell out below him and his head collided with the hard mantle of ice just before he plunged into the icy blackness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little known fact, after an accident we were in, my mother suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury.  
> I was a child taking care of my mother and dealing with her long term and short term memory loss.  
> As well as a short temper, aggression and other behavioral changes.  
> .
> 
> I will never hold a chapter for reviews but I do really, really enjoy reading them and they make me so giddy that usually I end up posting again just to feel the high.  
> It's a problem.  
> but it could be worse I guess.
> 
> Again, this story is planned, completed, ready to go.  
> however, I would still LOVE to hear theories, ideas, hopes and dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have ZERO chill. 
> 
> I told myself I would wait until at LEAST tomorrow.   
> but you know, it's already done. 
> 
> all mistakes are my own.

The early dawn light was just barely peeking through the half closed blinds when she opened her eyes, her neck aching from where it was rested against the hard resin bed rail. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bucky’s voice was calm, soothing, and she realized it was he who had woken her. “You should go home, get some rest.” 

“No,” Darcy said, clearing her throat as she sat up, “I’m fine.” 

“Darcy,” the man sighed, “I’ll stay with him.” 

“No.” 

“You need the rest. He’s- he’s in a coma Darce, he’s not even going to know-” 

“Dammit Bucky, I said no,” she snapped quickly. She saw his shoulders stiffen, his jaw clench and she winced. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not,” she answered quietly, her throat tight as she looked back to the man in the bed before her. “I just- I need to be here. When he wakes up.” 

Steve’s hand was still ensconced in hers, and she used her thumb to make a trail from the top of his wrist to the iv line on the back of his palm. It had been six days since he had been brought in and the thought of the way he had looked, blue lips and white skin, made her chest ache. 

“The doctors are confident Darce-” Bucky said softly, moving to sit across from her, his soft eyes meeting hers. “Doctor Cho said-” 

“I know,” she said softly, “His body is healing at exponential rates, I just- he still has nightmares you know?” 

“What?”

She didn’t hesitate as she went on, “From the ice. From waking up. I just- I want to be here, when he wakes up. I want- I want him to see my face to know that the time hasn’t passed by again.” 

Bucky stared at her for a beat before he nodded, “Alright, but I’m getting you a bed. Steve will have my head if he wakes up and finds you sleeping like that.” 

Darcy smiled, though only just, as he settled in across from her with his book. 

It became a constant round after that, of one of their friends or another stopping by; keeping her company. 

Time seemed to ebb and flow with each passing day. Steve’s body slowly healed but he continued to sleep. 

“He’s going to be mad when he wakes up and realizes I can kick his ass,” Sam said with a grin as he handed Darcy the bag from their bakery. Her throat tightened at the sight of it but she accepted it with a small smile. 

“You only wish,” Natasha said as she slid into the room.   
It had been another week of a nearly three week long coma. Darcy had left Steve’s side only long enough to shower and brush her teeth before she was back. 

“You should read to him,” Sam said and Darcy met his gaze, “I read it can help.” 

She smiled softly, her eyes heavy. “I’ll have to remember that.” 

“You look tired Darce. Are you feeling alright?” 

“Huh?” Darcy asked, “Oh, I’m fine. Just- tired.” 

Natasha regarded her carefully, her green eyes narrowed. 

“Really,” Darcy assured her, “I am-” 

“Hey, he just- he moved his hand,” Sam exclaimed and Darcy jumped as she turned back to her husbands lifeless form. 

“I’ll get Helen,” Natasha said from behind her but Darcy barely heard as she started whispering to the man she loved. Hoping he would hear; begging him to come back to her.

* * *

 

“It was probably a reflex,” Helen said gently after she had finished examining Steve. “But we’ll keep an eye on it, monitor him over the next few hours.” 

Darcy nodded from where she stood in the corner, her arms crossed tightly against her chest as Natasha held her to her side. 

“He’s going to wake up,” Helen said softly as she reached out to gently squeeze her arm, “His brain activity proves it. It’s only a matter of  _ when _ not if.” 

“And if it takes too long?” she asked, her throat squeezing with the thought, “He’s gone under the ice before, he’s-” 

“Hey,” Natasha said firmly, her hand squeezing her other arm reassuringly. “Stop that.” 

And Darcy closed her eyes, willing away the thoughts of losing Steve as far away from her mind as she could. 

She couldn’t lose him 

Not now. 

Not when their lives together had only just begun. 

* * *

  
Darcy woke slowly. She had meant to lay down on her hospital issued cot but by the way her arm was asleep, a wet spot on her sleeve, she assumed she had fallen asleep reading to Steve. She groaned, pushing her hair out of her face as she slowly sat up and tried to wiggle her fingers. 

It took her a moment, the feeling slowly returning to the appendages before she reached out to pick up the book she had left discarded on the bed. 

She nearly screamed as a hand moved, grabbing her wrist and stilling her actions and she looked up breathlessly to see Steve’s sharp eyes watching her. 

“Oh my god,” she breathed, “You’re awake.” 

“I just-” he started but stopped with a wince.  

“Let me get Doctor Cho,” she said quickly, moving to stand and heading out of the doors to call for the woman in question. 

There was a rush of people then, in and out of the room and Darcy stayed back, her eyes never leaving Steve as they flitted in and out with equipment and monitors. She saw his eyes meet hers a couple of times and she gave him her best reassuring smile as she asked Friday to alert everyone. 

It wasn’t until Doctor Cho had finished her workup, the nurses slowly leaving the room and Bucky and Natasha had arrived, that Darcy finally inched closer. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly as she drew closer. 

She saw his eyebrows knit together, the little wrinkle between them evident even from her distance and she felt something like dread creep into her belly. 

“Darcy-” Helen said from the other side of his bed and her worry only intensified at the tone in the doctors voice. A warning. 

“You scared the shit out of us punk,” Bucky said as he walked in, completely disregarding the scene before him as he moved around Helen to Steve’s other side. 

“Bucky-” Steve said and his voice was relieved, calm. “I don’t understand-” 

“There was an accident,” Natasha said as she moved to stand beside Darcy, “You hit your head, been out for a while.” 

“No, I know that. I just-” Steve looked at Bucky and Doctor Cho and then his eyes moved to hers and Darcy felt like ice had started to grow in her chest as he looked at her through dull, distant eyes. 

“What Steve is trying to say is that he is having a little trouble remembering some things. It’s normal with this type of injury to have some impairment and while we can do scans, I think the best bet is to wait until it heals itself.” 

“What are you having trouble remembering?” Natasha asked. 

“I just-” Steve started and then he shook his head, “Where is Sharon? She should be here. Did anyone tell her?” 

Darcy felt her stomach twist, bile rising sharply up her throat. 

“Why- why would we do that?” Bucky asked. 

Steve looked up at him from his place on the bed and their faces were mirrors of confusion. 

Darcy felt Natasha reach out, touching her elbow. She knew she could move. That she  _ should  _ move but she was rooted to the spot as Steve spoke the next words. 

“Because she’s my fiance.” 

Darcy left then, hurriedly, as she pushed past the slew of nurses and made it to the nearest trash receptacle, emptying her stomach with pained heaves that made her whole body tremble. 

She was vaguely aware of someone holding her hair back, of a firm but gentle hand rubbing her back until she was finished and someone had pulled her away. 

_ Tony _ . 

His mouth was moving, his eyes serious as he looked down at her and she could only imagine what he was seeing as she felt the tears streaming down her face. 

“What happened to Cap?” she finally made out through the rush of blood behind her ears. 

“He’s-” she hiccuped and Tony pulled her against him, letting her rest her head against his chest before she finished her sentence. 

Because she couldn’t say it. 

But she knew she was right. 

_ Her _ Steve was gone. 

 

* * *

“This isn’t right,” Bucky was saying and Steve tilted his head as he looked to see the man talking to the shorter woman who, frankly, looked terrified. 

“I know that Mr. Barnes, but we’ve done every test Stark has to offer as well as everything  _ I  _ do. There is nothing wrong with Steve that we can fix.” 

“So we just tell him-” 

“No,” the doctor was louder then and Steve was mildly impressed that she was standing up to the man once known as the winter soldier. “Steve’s brain needs time to  _ heal _ .” 

“Can brains heal?” Natasha’s voice, low and lethal, “after something like this?”

“To an extent, but Steve’s- With Steve’s regeneration capabilities in regards to his health and nervous systems, there’s just no way to know what all he is capable of. From what I’ve seen I have no doubt that he will regain those memories it’s just a matter of  _ when _ .” 

“So we  _ tell him _ ,” Bucky said again. 

The doctor sighed, “No. It’s not that you can’t tell him. It’s that if you ever want Steve to regain memories on his  _ own _ it’s best that they not be outsider observations.” 

There was silence then and Steve lay looking up at the ceiling as he waited until he heard Natasha’s voice, “I’ll go let her know.” 

There was a moment before Bucky came back into the room and sat down heavily in the chair that sat beside the bed. 

“Sharon?” Steve asked, looking up. 

Bucky breathed, deeply, through his nose before he gave one curt nod, “I had Friday call her.” 

“Thank you,” Steve said. 

They were quiet before Bucky spoke, “I know you heard all of that, out there.” 

Steve met his gaze, “What do you want me to say Buck?”

“I don’t-” Bucky said loudly before he shook his head and started again, calmer then, “I don’t want you to say anything. I need you to come back to us. To remember.” 

Steve looked at his best friend, his comrade, their gazes unwavering before Steve finally spoke, “I don’t think I can.” 

* * *

  
Steve woke next to someone holding his hand. He jumped slightly as he remembered dark hair and full red lips before he opened his eyes to see Sharon staring at him. 

“Hey,” he croaked, pulling her hand further into his. 

“Hey,” she said back, her beaming smile marred only by the sound of the door slamming and Bucky’s retreating figure down the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews give me life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally caught up on editing all of my galleries.  
> However, I am behind in school work.  
> ugh. 
> 
> In any case, I wanted to get this out a little early because the rest of this weekend will be busy! 
> 
> ***TRIGGER WARNING***
> 
> this chapter has a little bit of infidelity in it.  
> I don't want to give too much away but if that bothers you, please feel free to skim it. 
> 
>  
> 
> No beta, so all mistakes are my own!

The days went by and Steve grew tired of the hospital wing. Sharon stayed by his side, her unwavering loyalty the only calm in a storm and flurry of doctors and other visitors. Bucky came only when Sharon had left and Steve had no doubt that Friday was alerting him when she stepped away. He kept his visits short and said little, but he made sure what he did say was almost entirely centered around the woman who had been there when he woke. 

_ Darcy _ . 

“I’m sorry Buck- I don’t- I don’t  _ know  _ her” Steve said on the third week of his hospital stay. 

He felt claustrophobic behind the walls, his temper short. 

“You  _ do  _ though,” Bucky insisted as he leaned forward on his elbows to look at him, “If you would just remember-”

“Don’t you think I’m trying?” Steve snapped and he realized he was done holding it back. “I wake up and all I remember is that I’m engaged to Sharon and she’s nowhere around but you’re telling me this woman, this  _ Darcy _ , meant something to me. Don’t you think I’m fuckign trying?”

“Steve-” 

“No. I don’t  _ know  _ her and you’re not getting it.” 

“I’m not- I’m not  _ getting  _ it?” Bucky stood from his seat. 

“No, you’re-” 

“ _ No _ ,” the man spat, “ _ You’re  _ not getting it. You dumped Sharon, you left her and Darcy was the one good thing that happened to you. To  _ us _ , since we got to this damned century. She is three floors up holding her shit together because she has  _ faith  _ in you but you’re holding Sharon Carters fucking hand and playing house like she didn’t-” 

“You should go-” Steve looked up to see Sharon standing in the door, “The doctors don’t want him getting too upset. I think you should go.” 

Steve looked at Sharon as she held the door open for Bucky and the man in question looked at him. Steve paused for a second before he nodded in affirmation. 

“Don’t think she’ll wait for you forever,” he said simply before he grabbed his jacket and walked out. Not bothering to say goodbye. 

He didn’t come back the next day, or the day after that, and soon Steve was getting discharged. 

“I think you should stay nearby-” Doctor Cho said as she watched him pack up the last of his things. 

“Yeah, uh, I’m staying here actually. In the tower.” 

“Good, that’s- good,” Doctor Cho said and Steve felt there was something she wasn’t saying but if there was, she didn’t elaborate. 

Instead she signed his chart and let him go. 

Sharon walked with him into the elevator. 

The room they ended up in was bare of anything personal and it felt cold and clinical. He sighed as he tossed his bag down on the floor and sat himself down on the small sofa. 

“Home sweet home right?” Sharon said, her lips pulling up at the corners as she moved to sit beside him. 

“Right,” he sniffed. 

They were quiet for a moment before he finally spoke, “I was- I was wondering, if maybe we could talk about what happened. Before?”

Sharon met his eyes, her blue gaze guarded, “Sure, what do you want to talk about?”

Steve breathed, “For starters, how did things get so messed up.” 

Sharon laughed, “I think you’d have to go back seventy some odd years for that one.” 

It was his turn to laugh at that and he shook his head, “I just mean, before,” he gestured around him, “this.” 

Sharon shook her head, pursing her lips as she gave a shrug, “I don’t really know. One day you were there and the next you were just- gone.” 

“So it was me? I ended it?”

Sharon breathed, “You did.” 

“Did I say why?”

“No,” she supplied before she stood up and crossed over to the little kitchenette. “We were having some problems. Making our schedules work and stuff but-” 

Steve shook his head as he joined her, “It just- it doesn’t make sense. We were- we were happy.” 

“I thought so.” 

“And now they’re telling me that we weren’t together and I was with-” 

“Darcy-” Sharon supplied when he seemed at a loss. 

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “I just- I don’t know what happened. How things could have gotten so bad, how I could have left you-” 

Sharon shrugged as she set down the water bottle she had found and reached out to wrap her arms around his neck, “What matters is, you’re here now.” 

He nodded as she leaned up, brushing her lips against his softly, tentatively. 

Kissing her back, he tried not to think about the small part of him that thought how wrong it felt.

* * *

 

“You’ll be alright?” Sharon asked later as she slipped on her shoes.

“Hmm? Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine,” Steve reassured her as he turned off the tv and stood up. 

“Okay, well, if you need anything just- call me,” she said softly. 

She had wanted him to stay with her, to go to her apartment. It was a point of contention that he was staying at the tower. 

“I will,” he promised her once more before she left. 

Another hour passed, the clock ticking quietly somewhere in the room, before Friday alerted him to something outside of the door. 

He was hesitant as he opened it to find a box on the carpet. 

“It’s safe,” Friday said as he stared down at the innocuous cardboard. 

Finally, he picked it up and brought it in. 

Carefully he set it down on the counter before he opened it, slowly, and reached inside. There was no note, no way to show who it was from, but Steve didn’t have to guess as he took in the contents of the box. 

He remembered the t-shirt, worn and faded but his favorite comfortable shirt. There were jeans and sweatpants and a slew of other shirts. There were books and a stack of dvd’s buried beneath but what got him to stop unpacking was the leather bound book that sat carefully placed between two of his favorite sweatshirts. He lifted it up and felt the heavy weight of sketch paper in his hand, ran his fingers over the leather cover. 

Before he could stop himself he was flipping through the pages. 

He wasn’t sure what he expected to find in his own work amongst sketches he couldn’t even remember. Someone had taken time to carefully rip pages from the binding, hiding things from him. Collecting his past. 

He sighed as he shut the book and tossed it down on the counter. As he did, a  folded piece of paper slid out from somewhere near the middle. He frowned as he bent over to pick it up and unfolded it. 

It was her.  _ Darcy _ . 

The woman from his hospital room. She was sitting on what he could only assume was a balcony, the rough outline of the new york skyline behind her.  Her hair was pushed over her ear as she held a large mug in both of her hands, a set of rings on her finger that clearly said she was taken. 

She was beautiful. 

Steve felt like a traitor. 

More confused than ever before, he pushed the paper back in between the pages of his sketchbook and set it down, moving to take a shower and try to forget that he was an outsider in his own life. 

* * *

“Thought you weren’t coming around anymore,” Steve said as he opened the door to see Bucky standing in his doorway. 

“I live here,” Bucky said with a shrug. 

Steve opened the door, gesturing for him to come inside. “She’s just looking out for me, you know.” 

Bucky sighed, “I know.” 

Steve knew there was more the man wanted to say, could see it in the set of his shoulders. “But?” 

“No buts.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes at the man. 

Bucky relented with a sigh, “I talked to Darce- she told me to back off. I’m trying to uphold her wishes.” 

Steve was confused. He was supposedly with Darcy, yet she was telling everyone to leave him alone. “She’s my girlfriend but she doesn’t care-” 

“Wife,” Bucky corrected then swore, “I wasn’t supposed to- Look, I’m terrible at this, let’s just talk about something else.” 

Steve was reeling, he was  _ married _ and his friend wanted to ignore that fact. 

“ _ Wife?”  _ he asked instead. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, “You got married last June.” 

“Where?”

“Here.” 

“Here?”

“In the tower.” 

“Why?”

“Because I was the best man.” 

Steve blinked, “What does that-” 

“House arrest,” Bucky explained, “Notorious war criminal,” he pointed at himself, “I can’t leave unless I’m supervised by you. Which also means that I’m grounded until you’re cleared again.” 

“Cho cleared me.” 

Bucky shook his head, “No, she discharged you. You’re not cleared yet. In any case, I need to spar. Get your stuff let’s go down to the gym.” 

“Buck-” 

“I’ll take it easy on you.” 

In the end, it hadn’t mattered. Bucky had put him on the punching bag while he and Sam sparred in the corner. They had been at it for a while before the doors opened and they all paused and looked up as Darcy stopped walking.

“Oh. I’m- “

“Hey doll,” Bucky called, “Whatcha got?”

“Oh, it can wait, it’s nothing.  I’ll just-” 

“Nah, get over here and give me some love,” Sam called. Steve turned back to his bag as she walked past, his fist connecting once, twice, three or four more times before she had made it to where Bucky and Sam stood behind him. 

He didn’t listen, not really, as he pounded the bag before him. His frustration and anger was getting the best of him and he didn’t like it. 

“You’re kidding?” Bucky’s exclamation pulled him away from his thoughts and he looked over his shoulder to see the man picking Darcy up. 

Something stirred within. He might have called it jealousy if he had anything to be jealous about. 

“Hey, Brainless,” Bucky called and Steve exhaled, grabbing hold of the chain on the bag to keep it from swinging at him as he turned to walk over to where the trio stood. 

Darcy was giving Bucky a stern look from where she stood under Sam’s arm and Steve noticed, amusedly, that Bucky seemed unperturbed. 

“We’re going to go grab lunch downstairs, Darcy got some big news we want to celebrate, want to come along?” 

Steve’s eyes drifted to the woman of their own accord, She was looking down, her curtain of dark hair falling over the side of her face, and her teeth were worrying her bottom lip. 

“Uh- no, actually, I’ve got plans with Sharon for lunch but uh- thank you.” 

Buck’s eyes tightened at that but he clapped Steve on the shoulder, “Another time then.” 

“Yeah Buck, sure,” Steve said, “And uh- congratulations on your uh- news.” 

Darcy met his eyes then and she gave a little nod. “Thank you.” 

Before he could say anything else, Sam moved to get his things and Bucky pulled Darcy away. Steve turned back to his punching bag but not before he watched Bucky wrap his arm around Darcy’s shoulders, leaning to kiss the top of her head, before the door shut behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you are going to be angry about that kiss. 
> 
> Just remember, Steve had no idea that he was married.  
> And to be fair, he doesn't remember Darcy at all so it's like no time has passed since he and Sharon were together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter to make up for the wait! 
> 
> Again, TRIGGER WARNING for slight infidelity. If you are not wanting to read because of that, feel free to comment and I can give you a run down of the chapter! I don't want anyone to stop reading because of these two little instances and want every reader comfortable! 
> 
> Also, for the record, in canon I really like Sharon. Though I never cared for the romantic angle between her and Steve.

“-and so I said, If you can’t handle him you sure as hell can’t handle me,” Sharon said with a laugh as she pulled her legs up under her, swirling her drink around her glass before she took a long pull. 

Steve chuckled as he sat down himself, leaning to set his own drink on Sharon’s coffee table. He glanced up at the clock and sighed.

“I should get going,” he said. 

Sharon frowned, “I was- I was kind of hoping you might stay-” 

She leaned forward to put her own glass on the table before she slid right next to him. 

“Sharon-” he said quietly. 

She reached out, her hand trailing down his face before she leaned in, capturing his lips with hers. He froze, every fiber of his being screaming at him that something was  _ wrong _ but he didn’t pull away. This was  _ Sharon _ , his fiance, the second woman he had ever loved outside of Peggy. He let his hand come up to cup her face, pulling her closer, breathing her in. Her hands slid down his shirt, her fingers probing eagerly against his chest, before she moved to straddle his lap, pressing against him. 

He broke apart, his chest heaving as he rested his head against hers. 

“Sharon-” 

“Steve, I want  _ this _ .” 

He exhaled shakily, splaying his hands along her thighs, “I- Sharon, I can’t-” 

She closed her eyes, nodding, “Darcy.”  

“I’m still married,” he said apologetically, “I may not remember her but she’s still- she’s still my wife.” 

Sharon smiled and brushed her hand against his jaw, “You’re a man of honor Steve Rogers. But she won’t wait for you forever.”

 

* * *

 

  
Steve found his way to Bucky’s on his own, his brain a muddled mess as he pounded on the door. 

Bucky answered in his pajamas, his hair braided back away from his face. “Steve?”

“Sharon wants to sleep with me,” Steve said in a rush of air just as the second figure appeared behind Bucky, a bowl of popcorn held tightly in her white knuckled grip. 

“Now's- not really the best time,” Bucky said tightly. 

“No,” Darcy said, “It’s fine. I’m just- I’m going to go to bed.” 

Steve watched as she walked through the apartment and disappeared behind the door that was almost identical to Steve’s; Bucky’s bedroom. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” Bucky said and Steve realized as he looked at his friend that the feeling building up inside of him was anger, “She didn’t want to be at your apartment alone. We’re having a movie night.” 

Steve stared. 

“Steve-” 

“It’s fine Bucky, I don’t- it doesn’t matter.” 

“Steve-” 

“I don’t remember her,” Steve’s temper flared again, the words coming out forcefully and all at once.  “God, I’m married and I can’t even figure out if I want to be with anyone else because I can’t get over the intense feeling of guilt I have over a woman I hardly know. Everyone worries about how hard this is on  _ her _ but have you ever stopped to think how hard this is on  _ me _ ? My entire  _ family _ is gone, moved on, and I’m stuck years in the past and everyone just expects me to get with the times and accept that this is my life now. Does anyone ever think about how I’m dealing with it? How this is the  **second** time in my life I’ve dealt with this, but this time, I can get that back, I’m not all alone, except I am. So yeah, it’s shitty for her, but it’s shitty for me too.”

Bucky opened his mouth but Steve shook his head. 

“Just- don’t bother.” and with that, he turned on his heel and left. 

* * *

“I just hate that I have to leave,” Sharon said on the other end of the line, “We were just finding our rhythm again.”

“It’s fine,” Steve assured her as he wiped his brow. He had stopped his workout when Sharon’s number flashed on his screen. “Do you know how long you’ll be gone?”

It had been a long week, Steve avoiding Bucky and nearly everyone else on the team. He needed to let out some steam. 

“Until the job’s done I’m afraid,” Sharon sighed, “I’m ready to be home again already.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Steve said lightly. 

Sharon breathed through the receiver, “I just got you back, I don’t- I don't want to lose you again.” 

Steve wanted to promise her that he wouldn’t go anywhere, but life had already thrown him enough curve balls to know that he shouldn’t promises he couldn’t guarantee he could keep. 

Instead he told her to call him the next day and they said their goodbyes. He was still sitting on the bench in the gym when Bucky and Nat walked in. 

They paused when they saw him but Natasha squared her shoulders and kept walking. “You up for some sparring?” she asked as she tossed her bag down on the bench next to him. 

Steve contemplated, looking both at her and at Bucky who was wrapping his hand, before he nodded, “Yeah. I think I can do that.” 

* * *

Steve was still sore the next evening when he got to the gym to find Sam and Nat already sparring and Bucky on the bench. He tossed his bag down beside theirs and started taping his hands, before he moved to Bucky. 

“Need a spot?”

The man grunted as he placed his bar back up and sat up, ‘I haven’t needed a spot since the forties punk.” 

Steve chuckled at that but moved into position anyway as Bucky grabbed hold of the bar once more.  It was quiet as they both worked, switching spots after a few more reps, until Bucky broke the silence when Steve had finished. 

“Look, about before-” 

Steve waved him off, “Don’t worry about it.” 

“You were right though. I guess, I just- I forget what it was like, coming out of the ice. Darcy, she’s- she’s one of my best friends. She’s been through a lot.” 

“Haven’t we all?” Steve asked ruefully and he looked towards Nat and Sam, thinking of their own stories and what had brought them to the Avengers initiative. 

Bucky nodded, “We have.” 

It was later, after Bucky and Steve had sparred and were wiping their brows that Steve finally asked him, “I just- was I happy Buck? Before?”

Bucky froze, looking down at his towel, before he nodded, “You were.” 

“What did I-” 

Bucky shook his head, “I promised I wouldn’t say anything, I’ve probably already said too much, I just- you were happy. You both were.” 

* * *

Things faded into normalcy, for the most part. Steve talked to Sharon every night and spent time in the gym with different members of the team.

Darcy was scarce, though Steve knew that she spent her own time in the labs and with Bucky, Nat and Sam. 

It wasn’t perfect but it worked. That was until he stood in the communal kitchen. He had ran out of coffee earlier in the day and had used some from the tower. Which meant he had had to take the mug back. Tony was silent as he watched him wash his mug by hand until-  

“They treat you like you’re made of glass.” Tony said, and Steve frowned as he finished rinsing out his mug. 

“What?”

“Your friends. If they coddled you any more they’d be wiping your ass too. I mean they aren’t are they?”

Steve sighed, “Tony”

“No, look. I get it. They’re you’re friends they have your back but you aren’t fragile. You aren’t going to fall apart at the smallest of touches so here’s what I’ll say. You and Darcy-“

Steve opened his mouth.

“No, listen. You and Darcy, it doesn’t get more real than that. Whatever you and Carter had went downhill after we got back from Thanos and his band of merry men.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Tony studied him hard before he answered, “as much as you’re my friend...Darcy is my  _ family _ . I don’t want to see her hurt.”

Steve was silent before he spoke, “I’m not trying to.”

Steve's phone rang then and Steve gave an apologetic glance to Tony who waved him off. Steve took that as his cue to leave as he answered the phone. “Hey.”

“Oh good, you’re still up,” Sharon said through the line, “We just landed and I wanted to let you know.”

“That’s good. Look Sharon, I- I was wondering. Before, when we took a break. What happened?”

Sharon sighed “It was nothing, just some stupid misunderstanding.”

“What was it about?”

“What?” 

Steve stood, his hands in his pockets as he held the phone to his ear, “Was it because I loaded the dishwasher wrong or forgot a birthday or?”

“No,” she laughed, “No it wasn’t anything like that.” 

“Then what was it?” He pressed. 

“Why does it matter?” She asked, her voice low and even, though he could hear her moving on the other end of the line. 

“It matters because I’m having a hard time reconciling how we went from engaged to me being married to someone else.” 

There was a pause, the barest of moments, before Sharon spoke again. “Steve, I can’t do this right now. I have to do a briefing. I’ll call you tomorrow, same time.” 

And before he could say another word, the line disconnected. 

A door opened down the hall and Steve swore as he took a left turn and moved out onto one of the balconies, the cool evening air hitting him in a rush. 

He moved to the railing, leaning over the side as he looked down at the cars below, at the people that seemed to still be going on with their lives uninterrupted. He wondered what it would be like. 

There was a movement, a soft brush of paper and a rustle of fabric and Steve turned to see Darcy moving in a chair in the corner, “I’ll just-” she gestured to her papers as she hurriedly shoved them into a plain yellow folder. “Go.” 

Steve breathed and shook his head as he turned to lean on the rail behind him, “Don’t- it’s- it’s fine.”  

Darcy studied him for a moment before she settled back in her chair and for the first time, Steve noticed the over large sweatshirt, “Cold?”

She smiled, “Something like that.” 

“Do you often work outside on chilly evenings?”

She shook her head, “No, just when Tony is driving me nuts and Jane is looking murderous. The other wranglers can handle it for a bit while I step away. No one no one usually comes out here. I can go though, if you-” 

“No,” he insisted, “Stay, please. If anyone should leave it’s me.” 

“You looked a little irritated when you came out,” she said softly, “everything okay?”

He chuckled darkly and moved to sit in the chair opposite her, nodding to it with his head in silent request. She motioned and leaned back in her own chair. 

“I just- I hate how no one wants to tell me anything.” she opened her mouth but he quickly cut her off, “I understand the reasoning, I do. Helen is one of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met but I just- it’s like starting a book in the middle with no idea what happened at the beginning.” 

Darcy smirked, “That would suck.” 

“That’s putting it mildly,” he said. 

She laughed lightly. 

He sighed, “Sometimes I just think, I’d rather have other people’s memories because at least that’s better than nothing.” 

They were quiet then, the sound of traffic down drifting up to their ears. Steve watched Darcy, as she stared off into nothing, her blue eyes lost deep in thought. As Steve watched her he thought of that drawing from weeks ago and he could see it then, the way dying light hit her hair, highlighting the red undertones. She was breathtaking. 

“Rice Krispies,” The word was out before he could stop it but Darcy jerked her head around, eyes wide.  “I was going to say that, when I woke up in the hospital. It just- keeps popping in my head when you’re around-” 

Darcy smiled, “I love to bake and I’m good at it but you, you are  _ not _ .” 

“I definitely can bake,” Steve argued, though really he couldn’t remember the last time he had even turned on an oven, let alone make anything. 

She snorted at that, “You definitely can **not**. I know not to let you even help unless I can watch you like a hawk.” 

“I think that’s a little extreme,” he said, holding up his hand in mock offense. 

“Once you made cookies for Laura and we had more egg shell than cookies, she ended up using them to fertilize her garden. 

Steve laughed, “okay, okay-” 

“Anyway,” Darcy said, though a smile was gracing her full lips, “For my birthday you made this huge pan of Rice Krispies. They were good and I still think you had help. It took us forever to eat the whole pan and I still haven’t eaten another one since then.” 

Steve laughed then, leaning back in his chair, “So, no rice krispies, noted.” 

“I forgot about that,” Darcy laughed, her head tipping back slightly with the movement and for a moment they were just two people laughing together about a memory. 

Steve sighed as he leaned forward, “Earlier, when I was frustrated, I- do you know what happened between Sharon and me?”

Darcy’s laughter died on her lips and she shook her head, “I’m sorry, I don’t. You never wanted to talk about it.” 

“Why?”

Darcy shrugged, “I don’t know, but I wish I did.” 

“Why do you wish that?”

“Because you want to know and you deserve answers.” 

Steve met her eyes and for once since he had woken up in that bed, he believed what someone told him. “I’m sorry. That I don’t remember you.” 

“It’s not your fault,” she paused, “If there’s ever anything you want to know, just ask. I’ll do my best.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some Darcy/Steve time! 
> 
> For those that might think Steve is being awful. He kind of is but TBI's can impair judgment, emotional regulation, and decision making amongst other things! I knew this wouldn't be a perfect representation (as it's fanfiction) but I wanted to show some of the turmoil that comes with brain injuries.
> 
> Reviews give me life!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not beta'd.   
> all mistakes are my own.

Steve found himself seeking her out after that. They would sit together in the evenings, on that same balcony and while he did ask her questions about his past,  _ their _ past, mainly he would draw while she worked. It was companionable. It felt natural. 

“You can’t be cold,” he said one evening as he slid onto their balcony, finding her wrapped up in another sweatshirt, this one several times larger than she could possibly fit. 

She waved him away and pushed a mug towards him, “It’s comfortable. One of my favorites.” 

He stared for a moment, picking up the mug to take a sip of the beverage before him as he saw a small orange spot on the sleeve. 

_ “Damnit _ ”  _ he swore as the sauce dripped off the spoon and onto his sweatshirt sleeve. He swiped at it quickly and put his thumb in his mouth.  _

_ “What’s going on in here?” he turned at the voice and smiled as he saw her standing in the doorway.  _

_ “Just wanted to make dinner for my beautiful fiance,” he smiled as he pulled Sharon into him just as the smoke detectors started to go off.  _

_ She laughed as she reached behind him to turn off the stove, “How about we not burn down the house tonight and instead order in?”  _

_ “Sounds like a plan.”  _

“That was mine,” he said suddenly, looking at the sweatshirt. 

Darcy looked down, “Oh, yeah, I guess it was. I um- I can wash it later and have Buck bring it-” 

“No, no it’s fine. It’s- I just- I remembered.” 

She sat up, her eyes wide, “Was it-” 

Steve looked at her, at her hopeful expression and shook his head. He reached over, pinching the orange stain between his fingers, “I dropped spaghetti sauce.” 

Darcy chuckled at that but he could see her disappointment. 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel it himself. 

* * *

The phone ringing woke him up and he sat up, bleary eyed to answer it.

“Buck? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, we uh- we just got called away on a mission.” 

“Okay, I’ll grab my suit-” 

“No, I mean, you’re not off the bench yet.” 

Steve ran a hand down his face, “Neither are you.” 

“Get out of a jail free card. Tony sprang for me. Nat too.” 

“So you just wanted to tell me or-” 

“No,” Bucky said softly, “No, it’s uh- It’s Darcy’s birthday today. I uh- I got her a gift. It’s in a box in the top of my closet. I know things aren’t the best but I don’t want her to think that I forgot her. Not with everything going on, especially since she’s-” he paused, “she’s got a lot going on. Could you just- could you grab it? Take it to her place? I’ll send you the address.” 

Steve nodded, “Sure Buck. I’ll get it done.” 

“Thanks Steve.” 

Which was how he found himself walking up three flights of stairs in an apartment building across the river. She had seemed honestly surprised when he had rang up, telling her who was there but she had quickly let him in. 

The door was open when he got there and he slid in, smelling cinnamon and vanilla tones that filled the air. 

“Darcy?”

“In here!” she called and he followed the sound down the hallway and into the open living, dining, and kitchen area. 

The entire west wall was windows with a view of the harbor. 

“Wow,” he said as he looked out of them. 

“I know, right?” she said from over his shoulder and he turned to find her standing behind him. 

Usually she wore a sweatshirt over her work attire but here she was dressed comfortably in loose fitting pajama bottoms and a large t-shirt that hung off of one shoulder. Her hair was up in a sloppy knot on top of of her head. 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” 

She smiled as she reached up to touch the side of her blue rimmed frames, pushing them back up her nose. “I don’t wear them to work since, you know, scientists. But I prefer them to contacts. Especially right now, my eyes are so dry. Anyway- can I help you or-” 

“Oh,” he said as he held out the brown burlap bag in his arms. “Bucky called, said he was called on a mission, asked if I could bring you your birthday gift. I uh- stopped and got you something else too.” 

She looked at him skeptically as she opened the bag, laughing as she pulled out the box of rice krispy cereal. 

“You’re the worst,” she laughed. 

“There’s something else,” he said, nodding to the bag. 

She pursed her lips but dug in further pulling out an old movie. 

“You said you hadn’t seen it, I thought maybe if you didn’t have plans-” 

“I’d love to!” she said quickly, “watch it, I mean. With you. Sorry I’m fucking this up.” 

“No,” he laughed, “You’re not.” 

The timer on the oven dinged behind them and she turned to go get whatever it was out of the oven before she turned to pull the badly wrapped box out of the bottom of the bag. “Oh James.” she laughed, and Steve loved that she called him that. 

He watched as she opened it but she didn’t pull out whatever was in the box, instead, closing it back up and smiling, swiping at her eyes. 

“He’s such a girl,” she laughed in way of explanation. “So sentimental.” 

Steve laughed, watching as she tucked the box back into the bag before she turned around. 

“I made homemade pizza, I’m not sure- that is, if you want to join me? If you don’t have any other-” 

“I would love to,” he said softly, earning him a smile. 

They took their pizza to the sectional couch in the living room and Darcy opened the movie he had brought, fumbling with the remotes. “I’m sorry, I honestly have no idea how-” 

“Here,” Steve said, taking the remote carefully from her hand, even though he honestly had no clue what he was doing. He looked at the buttons and then at the tv before his thumb moved almost automatically to change the channel and the input of the television as the menu screen for the movie showed up. 

Darcy said nothing as she sat down on the far end of the couch, pulling her legs up under her and reaching for the throw on the back of the couch. Steve sat opposite her as they both settled in. 

They watched and ate, Darcy picking the mushrooms off her pizza and offering them to him. He smiled as he accepted and then turned, swallowing his bite, “Why put them on if you don’t like them?”

Darcy’s cheeks tinged pink at that and she ducked her head a bit as she swallowed her own bite. “Because you love them.” 

He smiled at that and turned back to the movie. 

At some point, Darcy stretched further, her feet bumping him. She apologized and he shook his head, “You can move here, if you want,” he said softly, gesturing next to him, “Put your feet on the ottoman.” 

She hesitated for only a moment before she slid across the sofa on to the cushion next to him. 

His body yearned to reach across and pull her against him and he wondered how often they had done just this. 

“Darcy- how did we- When we met…” 

“It was on an elevator,” she said quietly. “Well, the first time. Thor was showing me around because he was fishing for information on Jane. Anyway, we were in the elevator and you walked in and he introduced us but you hardly noticed me. I may or may not have covertly snuck a photo of you on my phone that day just so I could say that I shook Captain America’s hand.” 

He laughed. 

“Anyway, you said ‘Hi, nice to meet you’ but you didn’t really notice me.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” he said, “You’re very noticeable.” 

She let out a snort at that, then shook her head, “No, but then I kept finding ways to ‘bump’ into you and I realized after like the fourth time that I was definitely crazy. So I stopped and then one day you bumped into me and- and it was like you had been asleep but you were awake. You smiled at me and asked if I needed help finding anything. I told you I worked there and you blushed and apologized. I walked all the way to elevators before you stopped me and asked if you could buy me a hotdog.” 

“I didn’t.” 

“You did,” she laughed, “I said a cup of coffee would be just fine.” 

Steve groaned, “That’s ridiculous.” 

“You were flustered and adorable,” she laughed, “And then, after that cup of coffee, you didn’t call or text and I thought surely you had just come to your senses. It had been nearly two weeks. Then we got this call that some asshole was trying to blow up one of the subway tunnels and you ran in and kissed me, full on the mouth and said ‘I had to do that once, just in case,’ and then you left.” 

“You’re making this up.” 

“I’m not!” she insisted, “Cross my heart. So you guys stopped the crazy person and you come back and you avoided me until I pulled you into an office and said I wasn’t going to let you out until you told me what was going on.” 

“Did I?”

“No,” she laughed, “Because there was no earthly way I could have kept you in that room but I didn’t have to, Bucky opened the door and said ‘Sam told him he shouldn’t call you’ and I told him he’s an idiot.” 

Steve chuckled as he imagined the scenario. 

“Bucky still tells Sam he almost blew it with us and that when we have our first-” she trailed off then and she picked at the blanket that rested on her lap awkwardly. 

“It’s ridiculous,” he said softly, but then he reached out, his arm touching the top of her shoulder, “But it’s us.” 

“It is,” she smiled and Steve pretended not to notice her reaching up to swipe at her eyes as he turned back to the television. 

* * *

There was a pan of rice krispies waiting for him the next day. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Stop,” she laughed, “I can’t breathe.” 

Steve laughed himself and shook his head, “I’m serious. So here’s this giant of a woman sitting on top of Bucky’s lap because he swore he had never ‘met a woman like her’ and then the chair breaks and all we can see are his legs flopping while Vera is wailing on top of him. 

“Oh my god,” Darcy’s laughter was contagious and she had tears streaming down her face where they sat eating the rest of the snacks they could find in the communal kitchen. “I’m never going to let him live this down.” 

Steve grinned at her mirth and took another bite of a red vine just as the door to the commons opened. 

“Hey, there are you,” Natasha said, “We’ve got that- thing today. Tony and Bucky are waiting-” 

“Oh, shoot,” Darcy said, picking up her phone to look at the time, “I’ve got to um.. I’ve got to go.” 

“Everything okay?” Steve asked as she hurriedly grabbed her things and headed towards Nat. 

She turned then, smiling broadly at him and nodded, “Everything is perfect. I’ll- see you later?”

He nodded, “Yeah, of course,” he paused as she started to walk out the door before he called out, “Darcy?”

“Yeah?” she stopped, turning back to look at him. 

“Would you like to get dinner tonight?”

“I would love to,” she beamed,  
“Meet you at your place? Seven?”

She nodded, “perfect.” 

He watched until she had disappeared into the elevator before he hurried back to his room to get ready, a pep in his step that had been missing before. 

* * *

He was fifteen minutes early as he rolled his bike up to a stop in front of the red brick building and cut the engine. 

He frowned and wondered if he should have circled the block a few more times. 

“Hey,” he looked up at the sound of her voice and smiled as he saw her bounding down the steps. She was dressed, for once, without a sweater on, and instead was wearing a loose fitting dress that came to her knees. “You’re here.” 

“Yeah,” he stood up, squinting up at the top of her building, “A little early.”

“No, you’re fine,” she grinned, “Perfect.” 

He laughed at that and shook his head, “Ready to go?”

“Uh, yeah, I just- not dressed for a bike ride. You okay if we uber or?”

“I was thinking we could walk actually, it’s not far,” he promised, “I mean if that’s okay or not, we can-” 

“Steve,” she smiled, “It’s perfect.” 

With a nod, Steve pushed away from the bike and stood up, gesturing for her to go first as they fell into step together. 

Darcy was smiling as they walked and she told him about some new kid in the lab who had accidentally set themselves on fire. “I mean, it was bad but not bad, bad. Kid’s fine besides some minor smoke inhalation and some singed eyebrows. But I  _ bet _ he never does that again.” 

Steve laughed as they reached the restaurant he had found on google that promised a farm-to-table menu and an eclectic atmosphere, “I should hope not.”  

He held the door for her, letting her walk ahead of him before he followed behind and moved to check in, the smell of vinegar and seafood permeating the air. 

They followed the young hipster to the table and sat quietly together. 

“You okay?” Steve asked after a minute of silence as he watched Darcy fiddle with the mason jar  glass on the table. 

“Hmm?” Darcy looked up, her face drawn, and gave a nod, “Yeah I’m just- not feeling so great.” 

“Oh.” 

“I um- do you think maybe we could get out of here?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Steve said as he stood up. 

“I’m sorry-” Darcy said as they made their way outside, and Steve shook his head 

“It’s fine Darcy, let’s get you home.” 

They started to walk back the way they had come, a chasm settling between them as deep as the cracks in the new york sidewalk beneath their feet. 

“Steve-” Darcy said suddenly and he looked up to see she had stopped walking, her head tilted around, “Let’s get a hot dog.” 

“What?”

“A hot dog,” she smiled as she turned to look at him, “For old times sake.” 

Steve laughed, remembering her tale of their fateful meeting, “A hot dog?”

“Please?”

He wanted to point out that she had just asked to leave a nice restaurant because she wasn’t feeling well and now she was pointing at a stand that looked like it probably received a solid C- on a health code scale. 

But looking at her, at the hopeful expression on her face, he couldn’t help but shrug, “If you think you’re up to it.” 

Which was how they found themselves walking around a park, hotdogs clutched in their hands slathered in spicy mustard and relish. 

“Feeling better?” he asked after he had finished off one of his handfuls and tossed the wrapper in the nearest trash bin. 

Darcy nodded around the last mouthful of bun and muttered something that Steve was fairly certain was affirmation. He grinned as he finished his second dog, keeping step beside the woman next to him. 

“You know,” she started after a bit, “This was way better than any hipster restaurant, where’d you find them anyway. Yelp?”

Steve laughed, “Sam recommended it actually.” 

“Figures,” she scoffed as they stopped at a bench and settled down on to it. She tilted her head slightly, “Bucky said you’ve been spending more time with them.” 

Steve shrugged, “They’re my team. Whether I remember them or not.” 

“And have you? Remembered them?” she looked up at him from behind her wire rimmed glasses, her blue eyes searching. He wished he had more to give her. 

“Not really,” he sighed, “I mean, I remembered I don’t like creamer, as I was putting it in my coffee and I remembered part of my workout routine but besides that, no not really.” 

She nodded and Steve looked down to his feet. He didn’t tell her about the flashes, glimpses, of memories that came at the moment random moments. Those images that centered around Sharon; about their relationship. He was always happy in them, but they left a hollow sort of feeling in his gut that he couldn’t quite place or name. 

“For the record, you like three sugars in your coffee and while you’d never admit it, you like chocolate syrup and whipped cream too.” 

He laughed at that, turning his head to look out at the park before them, the dying light filling it with a warm sort of glow. 

They were pulled apart as Darcy’s phone started to vibrate in her pocket and she laughed as she pulled it out, reading the screen before she turned to show Steve the screen and the photo Bucky and Sam had sent as they sat at the very same restaurant they were supposed to have been in. 

“You’re close,” Steve said after a minute, with a nod to her phone, “With Buck.” 

Darcy’s lips pulled up at the corners as she slid her phone back inside her bag. “He’s- he says I remind him of his sisters. But it’s- he’s one of my best friends. I guess I have you to thank for that,” she leaned over to nudge him with her shoulder. 

He laughed, turning his head to look down at her, at the gold bloom of color that brushed across her nose and cheeks, her creamy skin radiant in the dying light and his fingers itched to draw her; to capture that moment. 

His own phone vibrating in his pocket tore him away from the moment and, reluctantly, he pulled the thing out of his pocket and frowned down at the thing as Sharon’s name played across the screen. 

“You can answer it, you know,” she said softly, nudging him once more. 

He paused, his thumb hovering over the slide to answer before he made his decision and hit the side button, ending the call. 

“So, tell me more about this kid that caught himself on fire. Is this a normal thing?”

Darcy laughed as she launched into the tale and Steve listened, enthralled, as she regaled him with stories of the newest batch of lab assistants. 

It wasn’t until later, after he had walked her home and said goodnight, that he realized it was the first time since he woke up, again, that he didn’t feel so alone. 

* * *

_ “Mmm… you’re home,” she said as he slid into the bed behind her, wrapping her up in his arms as he pulled her back against his chest.  _

_ “Just got in,” he whispered, his lips brushing against her skin.  _

_ “I missed you,” her words were punctuated by her pressing back against him and he felt the fire building as she rolled to face him.  _

_ Her hand moved to cup his neck, her forehead pressing against his as their lips met in a heated caress.  _

_ “I missed you too,” he panted as he rolled them over, caging her between her arms. “You said you needed to talk to me?”  _

_ “Later,” she mumbled as she kissed him once more, her hands going to his pants as she pushed them down.  _

_ “Sharon-”  _

Steve woke quickly, his heart thudding in his chest and his sleep pants growing tighter as he tried to regulate his breathing. His head was pounding and with a groan he laid back down and covered his eyes with his arm, there was something there, he realized. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

He laid in bed for what felt like forever before he finally pulled himself up and into the shower, washing away the remnants of the dream in rivulets of warm, soapy water until all he could recall was the unsteady feeling that it left him with. 

Getting ready for the day, he smiled as his phone pinged from his bedside table and he picked it up to see Darcy’s text:

_ I had fun last night _ . 

_ Me too _ , he shot back and he warred with himself as he wondered if asking her to breakfast was too much, before he heard the knocking on his door and he made to answer it, faltering when he saw her standing on the other side, a grocery bag in one hand and a smile on her face. 

“I missed you,” she smiled, “Thought I could make you breakfast.” 

Steve breathed as his dream came rushing back, “Sharon.” 

 

* * *

“You’re quiet,” Sharon said as she sipped her coffee across the table from him. 

Steve blinked apologetically, “I’m-,” he reached up to scrub at his face, “sorry, I just-” 

“Have a lot on your mind,” she finished with a sad sort of smile, “I understand.” 

“Sharon it’s-” 

“Steve,” she said softly, reaching across the table to grasp his hand with hers. “Don’t apologize. I knew going into this that it wasn’t going to be easy. Look, I just, I thought I could stop by and maybe we could talk.” 

He stared at her from across the table as she pulled her hand back and set her coffee down. 

“I know you want answers, I wish I could give them to you. I just- I didn’t want to admit it but I don’t know what went wrong. One day you were there, we were planning a wedding and then the next,” she swallowed and cleared her throat, “the next you had moved your things out and wouldn’t answer your phone.

“Look, I’m not delusional, I know things weren’t perfect but we were happy. I thought so anyway. It was just hard, losing you like that. And then you wouldn’t talk to me about it or- or explain. I just - hoped… I hoped maybe this would be a second chance.” 

Steve felt for the woman across the table and this time it was his turn to reach across the table, holding on to her hand. 

She looked up, giving him a watery smile, “I’m not sure- I don’t know if I can handle losing you like that again Steve. Even if,” she swallowed, “even if it’s just keeping you as my friend.” 

“I can do that,” Steve said softly, smiling. 

Sharon laughed at that and then groaned, “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. My god I’m a wreck.” 

“You’re not,” Steve laughed and handed her one of the napkins on the table. “And even if you were, I mean, have you  _ met  _ me?”

Sharon laughed again, “I didn’t come here just for that. I mean, that was most of it- and breakfast- but um… There’s an opening, in our division in D.C. I thought- well that is to say, they tossed your name around. I know you’re grounded right now and I thought maybe it might be a good time to make a change.” 

Steve sighed, “I don’t-” 

“It’s not important, or time sensitive, just- think about it. I mean, I know you had a life here but if you don’t remember it-” 

He frowned, “Helen was confident it would come back-” 

Sharon looked at him sadly. 

“What?”

“It’s just-” she sighed, “I looked at your file, when they were discharging you. Steve, Helen said if you hadn’t gotten your memories back within a few weeks time the chance of you ever regaining them was minimal.” 

“What?” he asked. 

She nodded, “I didn’t want to say anything, but I thought you knew. Had read it.” 

Steve was up before she had finished talking, moving towards the kitchen where the inoffensive blue folder was stacked on top of a bottle of painkillers he hadn’t taken. Thumbing through the papers he saw the notes Helen had made and he skimmed through them. Words jumping out at him like laceration and fracture until he saw it at the bottom. 

_ Patient suffers from grade three retrograde amnesia. Although it is believed to be temporally graded, there seems to be little to no healing in the patients hippocampus. If RA persists longer than six weeks, it is unlikely that patient will regain lost memories.  _

“Steve, I’m sorry- I thought you knew or I wouldn’t have-” 

“I need-” Steve breathed as he moved, tossing the folder back down on the counter “I need some air.” 

He left in a hurry, not bothering to look behind him, not bothering to wait for a response as he walked out of the door. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish that I had a really good excuse for this being so late.  
> I wish.  
> In truth, my summer started (finally) I got super busy with my side "job"  
> and time got away from me. 
> 
> In addition to that, in reading through what I had already written, I realized I didn't like a whole part of a chapter because I felt it didn't add to the story. I may bring it back later.  
> Who knows.  
> Sometimes I like to surprise myself. 
> 
>  
> 
> Still not beta'd so all mistakes are my own.  
> Feel free to let me know if you see anything but be gentle.  
> I'm sensitive.

She found him on the roof later, his feet dangling over the edge as he sat ruminating. 

“Hey,” her deep, husky voice sounded in his ear, “We’ve been looking for you.” 

Steve scoffed at that, a dry sort of laugh that stuck in his throat. Natasha’s hand reached out, handing him a silver flask. 

“Thought you might need that,” she explained and he tipped it towards her before he took a long pull. 

They were silent as they sat in the slight breeze of midmorning and it felt comfortable, familiar, easy. 

“We’ve done this before,” he said finally, firmly. 

Natasha shrugged, “A time or two.” she breathed, “We should have told you.” 

“Why didn’t you?”

She paused, so long that Steve was sure she wasn’t going to answer his question, before she finally spoke, hesitantly,  as though she were tiptoeing around what she wanted to say. What she _ could  _ say. “A part of us hoped you would get them back, but then- then we just hoped that even if you didn't, you would find your way back anyway. It seemed like you were.” 

Steve sighed and rubbed his hand down his face, “Where do I go from here? Because I’m lost and I really need someone to tell me what I should do.” 

She was quiet as she looked out over the city, her lips pursed before she turned to meet his gaze, “I don’t know.” 

He swore, a whispered word that barely scratched the surface of the turmoil that was churning in his gut, before he took another pull of the flask. 

Natasha opened her mouth and then paused before she held her hand out. Steve set the flask in her palm and she took a greedy pull, grimacing, before she finally opened her mouth once more. “I don’t know what to tell you to do Steve. But what I do know is that Darcy would wait for you, another seventy years if she had to.” 

Steve breathed, as he accepted the flask she once again held out to him and took another slow swallow. Their silence was comfortable, familiar even, and Steve let it settle over him like a balm to his aching wounds as he wondered just how long Darcy would wait for him. 

And if it would be enough. 

 

* * *

The bakery had seemed familiar as Steve had spotted it that morning on his sunrise jog. When he had decided to loop back around and check it out, it was with the hope that he was early enough on a Saturday morning that the crowds wouldn’t have consumed the place before he made it back around. 

As luck would have it, he had been stopped at least three times and by the time he had made it back to the squat little building, the sun had already climbed to the point where it was just bright enough to cast lurking shadows if you were to stare in its general direction. 

He had just crossed the street, dodging a cab and a woman he was pretty sure had not only been alive when Howard was young but would have eaten him for breakfast, when he saw her. 

She was sitting in a chair, leaning back, her hair up in an unruly mess on top of her head. She was, once again, wearing that stupid sweatshirt and Steve felt the corner of his lips pull up as he moved closer. 

And then- 

He froze, midstep, as the man appeared at the table before her and set down two plates before sliding across from her with a grin. The sleeves on his blue button up were  rolled up to his elbows and though his shirt was tucked in and his slacks were pressed, he looked like a man at ease. 

Steve stood, watching, for what felt like an eternity as Darcy picked up her coffee mug, sipping delicately as the man before her spoke. She nodded her head and set down her mug, picking at the pastry on the plate in front of her as her own lips moved and Steve wished, for all the world, that he could get his feet to budge. 

Instead he stood, too far away and yet, still too close. 

Darcy shook her head, the man before her said something and Darcy laughed and it was almost as though he could hear it. His heart thundered in his chest and for a second, he thought about just walking in and sitting down beside her. 

And yet- 

The man reached out, grasping her hand in his and he watched as Darcy turned her hand over, lacing their fingers together before they rested them on the table between them. 

Natasha’s words, shared on the rooftop came rushing back. 

She would wait for him. 

She would  _ wait _ . 

Steve turned, his footsteps heavy as he dragged himself back towards the tower.

Because he knew Natasha was right. 

Darcy would wait. 

He just- 

Didn’t know if he wanted her to. 

 

* * *

 

  
_ Hey, you have a minute? I was hoping we could talk about something. _

 

_ Steve? _ __  
  


_ Are you alright? _

 

_ Please, just tell me if you’re okay.  _

 

The messages had come in one by one and Steve had turned his phone to silent as he worked the bags. He was hanging up his fourth one when his phone lit up once more. 

 

_ Hey punk. You up? _

 

Steve sighed and sat his phone down, turning to the bag once more as he started his drills. Focusing on the repetitive motions as he forced everything else away. 

_ Darcy. Darcy. Darcy.  _

His blows seemed to taunt him. 

Another bag down and his fists were burning, aching, but he hung another. 

“Hey, shit for brains.” 

Steve paused, greedily gulping air as he turned to see Bucky and Sam in the doorway, wearing matching expressions of confusion and annoyance. 

“I know you got amnesia man, but you forget what a phone is for?” Sam asked as he moved into the room. 

He shook his head, biting back the barb that threatened the tip of his tongue as the two men moved closer to him. 

“Had damn near the entire team out looking for you,” Sam stated, “Thought maybe your life alert had failed.” 

“Yeah well, I’m fine,” he bit out and he looked at first Sam and then Bucky who stood slightly back, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed; studying. 

“Look, you need something or am I free to get back to it?”

Sam held his hands up in surrender, “Don’t shoot the messenger man. Look, just... you good or should we tell Darce to get Helen?

It was as though he were a taut rubber band at that point, his friends words plucking him dangerously and he clenched his jaw; once, twice, three times, before he finally bit out. “I’m fine.” 

“You sure as shit don’t seem fine,” Bucky said finally, tensely. 

“Yeah, well not everyone can go play house with their best friends girl,” Steve barked back. 

“What the hell are you on about?” 

Steve knew he should stop, could feel himself toeing the precipice dangerously but instead of backing down, he turned and took a running jump directly in to it, consequences be damned.  “I’m talking about the fact that you can’t even take care of your own damned self Buck and here you are, trying to play hero to my  _ wife _ .” 

“You mean the  _ wife _ you abandoned to play house with your psycho ex.” 

Steve raged, turning on his friend at his words, “The hell do you know?”

Bucky didn’t back down, instead he took a step forward, the tips of their toes touching as they stood off. 

“I know that you didn’t want shit to do with her until you lost your damn memories-” 

“But conveniently not a damn person in this place can tell me a thing about that.” 

“We shouldn’t have to,” the man roared, “you married Darce and now you just left her to clean up your messes-” 

“What the hell does that even mean?” the white hot poker of anger had taken control, a pounding settling in right behind his temple as he stared down his best friend, ready to swing, until- 

“Woah, woah, that’s enough.” Sam said tersely, moving to push them away from each other. “Bucky, man, take a walk.” 

“Not-” Bucky started to argue. 

“ **Take a walk** ” Sam commanded once more, and there was something in his gaze that left no room for arguments. 

Steve beat him to it, “You know, don’t even worry about it.” 

Without waiting he turned, picking up his discarded bag and leaving the mess of busted punching bags behind him. 

He turned his phone over in his hand as he walked until he reached the doors to the elevators. With a sigh he pressed the messages from Darcy and typed out a quick reply before he called another number, hoping she would answer. 

He was gone by the time Darcy read his reply, her face falling as she read the seven simple words he had sent. 

 

_ I’m sorry. I just need some space.  _

 

* * *

Sharon opened her door to him, and though he slept on the couch-Sharon upholding her word that she wouldn’t push him for more than he could give- it seemed being in her presence was enough to trigger something within him.

“I got another one,” he said as he came out of the bathroom, his toothbrush in hand. “A museum?”

“Mmm, which one?” she asked as she bit off a piece of her toast, “You are quite fond of old relics.” 

He scoffed and shook his head, “this was a banquet? A gala? Your dress was purple.” 

“Okay, it was  _ mauve _ ,” she said exasperatedly but she smirked none the less as he disappeared back into the bathroom to put his toothbrush away, cataloguing the memory in his brain. 

He was buttering his own toast when she spoke again, “That wasn’t too long before you left,” she said softly, looking down at her now empty plate and Steve sighed as he screwed the lid back on the jelly and put it in her fridge.

“I- uh, have you thought anymore? About DC?” 

Steve was quiet as he chewed, mulling her question. Because in all actuality, it was all he had been thinking about. 

It had been three weeks since he had left the tower, and his team, behind. He had hoped that leaving would help clear his head. In reality, it had just served to confuse him more. 

“I- just, need some more time,” he finally said, playing with the ends of his napkin. Sharon didn’t push or press and Steve was grateful that she let it go. 

Instead she talked of an op she had just run, their new recruits first mission, and Steve found himself laughing as she told him of the pair of young agents who had gotten lost in the middle of the desert only to realize the quinjet was all but ten feet away the entire time. He was listening to her describe the look on their faces when one of them had literally run into the thing, when his phone lit up with a message from Darcy. 

_ I know you need space but I really need to talk to you. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important just, let me know. Please.  _

* * *

 

“You could call her, you know,” Sharon said quietly as she pushed a bowl of ice cream in front of him. “Meet on neutral ground.” 

Steve scoffed, “Everywhere is neutral if you don’t remember it.” 

Her lips pulled up slightly at that but it was hollow, and Steve knew the feeling all too well. 

His appetite gone, Steve left his dessert behind and headed to bed, his mind whirling as he thought of Darcy, of the life they had, and the life they may never have again. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you seem upset that the rest of the team aren't saying anything about Sharon. I promise there is a reason and we will get to it. Eventually. 
> 
> Also, others are upset about how Steve is acting impulsive or making bad choices.  
> This is a reality for some people with Traumatic Brain Injuries.  
> I wish I could tell you all about the things that I saw daily while caring for my mother but it would take too long.  
> While I wish I could say this was a just a story I dreamed up in my head, it kind of is cathartic for me.  
> and you know, fan fiction is cheaper than therapy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd so all the mistakes are mine. 
> 
> I originally planned to post this later in the week. However, my second "job" is photography and I am pretty booked this weekend. And while I'm not feeling particularly patriotic this year, I know others probably are. So..early post. 
> 
> This chapter is a little bit heavy.  
> I don't think anything really triggery but if you're leery feel free to reach out and I can give you a run down!

“Any headaches?” Helen asked as she shined the penlight into his eye. 

Steve shook his head, “Not in a few weeks.” 

Helen frowned as she made a note on the tablet in her hand, “Since-” 

“Since I left, yeah,” Steve said softly. 

Helen sucked her teeth and gave a short nod before she turned and met his eye, “And any more-” 

“Small memories,” he said, anticipating her question, “little things that come in and out.”

Helen gave a nod before she turned and flicked her hand, the results of his brain scan appearing before him, all blue and purple and glowing. 

“As you can see, your body has healed at exponential rates, just like we presumed it would,” she waved her hand once more as another image popped up. His brain from before, riddled with red and orange. 

“So why haven’t my memories returned?”

Helen paused, looking at the data before her before she looked at him. “I’m afraid we can’t really say. Not without running another slew of tests and even then there is no guarantee that we can know,” she said. 

“So a medical mystery,” Steve said, “Great.” 

A beat passed as the images of his brain, damaged and flawed, winked back at him. 

“I think it might be time to reconcile with the idea that you may never get your memories back.” 

Steve blinked. 

“There are just too many unknowns,” Helen continued on explaining, her voice blending to background noise as she spoke of hemispheres and fissures. 

And Steve thought of Darcy. 

“-but I think I can release you.” 

“What?” Steve asked, looking at Helen sheepishly. 

“I still can’t return you to field work in good conscious but I think returning to a routine could help bring back some normalcy. It might help, without your memories, to adjust if you have something to fill your time. 

Steve gave a nod as he watched Helen sign his release before she gave him directions to call if anything changed. 

He gave a nod and let her leave before him as he stared down at the little piece of paper in his hands. 

With a sigh he heaved himself from the table and made his way out of the medical wing.  It wasn’t until he had ended up on the floor, the glass walls surrounding him, that he realized where he had unconsciously ended up. 

The labs. 

His fists closed around the paper and he realized he wanted to share this with her. 

Carefully he made his way through the labs until he found Dr. Jane Foster’s name emblazoned on the doorframe and, hesitantly, he reached up and knocked. He watched as Jane’s head poked up from below a desk, her eyes training on him through the glass door. 

She looked for a moment, like she was going to ignore him as she leaned heavily on the desk before her, her shoulders hunched, before she finally walked over and opened the door. 

“Yes?” 

Steve faltered for a moment at her tone, before he righted himself, “Is Darcy here?” 

The woman narrowed her eyes, “No. She’s...out.” 

“Is she, will she be back?”

“I don’t know,” the scientist snapped so forcefully that Steve flinched as though she had slapped him. 

“Can you just- let her know that I stopped by?” he paused, “She said she had something she wanted to talk with me about.” 

Steve watched as Jane gave a curt nod and he gave one of his own before he turned to move away.

“Wait,” Jane said. 

Steve stopped, turning to look at her once more. 

“What are you going to do about Darcy?”

“What do you mean?”

Jane looked away, biting her lip before she looked back at him once more, “You can’t keep pulling her around.” 

He opened his mouth to protest-

“No, you did. One minute you were here and she was so hopeful and the next you were leaving and just- she needs someone. Now more than ever, and you just- you have to decide if you care going to be that for her or not.” 

Grinding his teeth together, Steve let her words unravel around him before he spoke, “I don’t want to hurt her.” 

Doctor Foster narrowed her eyes but her words when she spoke were soft, gentle even, “Then don’t.” 

 

* * *

He found himself on Sharon’s balcony later, his sketchbook balanced precariously on one knee as he tried to lay out the scene of the city before him. Instead he thought of Jane’s words, of Helen’s, of his own traitorous thoughts. 

He drummed the graphite against the page. The too quick ‘thump, thump’ rhythm did little to distract him and soon he gave in. With a sigh used his black smudged fingertips to pull the folded piece of paper from where he had stashed it before. 

Delicately he unfurled the thick coldpress paper until he could see her face. IT reminded him, as he stared, of their time together. Sitting on the balcony at the tower as he tried to get to know her, to relearn her. But it was all wrong.

His fingers twitched as he looked at the rough drawing, of the happiness in her eyes that radiated even there in an illustration. 

Sure she had laughed with him, smiled and joked, but she was never like this. There had always seemed to be an air of anguish that settled around her. Her smiles didn’t quite reach her eyes and there was a little groove that rested between her brows.  He had never seen her, not really; not like this. So caught up in trying to remember who he was, who he had been, he had forgotten that he wasn’t the only one who lost. 

What good were rice krispies and mushrooms on pizza if he wasn’t the man she remembered. 

Carefully he folded the paper back up, careful not to press to hard on the creases, his full fingers fumbling, before he slid the paper back into the book and instead picked up his phone. 

She answered on the third ring. 

“Hey Sharon,” he sighed, “About that job.” 

* * *

“So why the change of heart?” Bucky asked as they walked towards a table together, “You left so fast-” 

Steve breathed, “I thought we could talk.” 

Bucky paused, “Steve-” 

“Look, I thought you should hear it from me first, I-” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Steve turned as the door banged open at the same time the voice echoed, loudly, through the cafeteria. 

“Nat-” 

“No,” the woman said as she glowered at him and Steve saw what she held in her hand. He didn’t have any time to think as she approached and promptly aimed a left uppercut that landed hard on his jawline. 

“What the-” Bucky said as he crossed towards Natasha, grabbing her arms. 

“Hey,” a new voice said, “Not that I don’t love when you cause scenes in my building but yeah, no I don’t love when you cause scenes in my buildings-” 

“Tony,” Steve ground out as he rubbed at his already healing jaw. 

“What’s up Cap? Romanoff, who pissed in your cheerios?”

The woman in question was held back only by Bucky’s metal arm, her eyes murderous as a slew of Russian swear words flew past her lips so fast that even Steve couldn’t catch it. 

“Natalia,” Bucky said quietly in her ear but the woman continued to rage. 

“Okay, as much as I love the repeats of Young and the Restless, anyone wanna fill me on on what Cap here did?”

Natasha fumed as she all but threw her handful at Tony, “Ask  _ him.”  _

Tony frowned but opened the envelope and Steve felt his heart drop. 

“I can-” 

“Get out,” Tony said suddenly, and loudly, to the room. 

Those few Stark employees left after Natasha had appeared, didn’t have to be told twice as they hastily took their exit.   
“You too,” Tony said to the pair standing beside him and Steve watched as Bucky forcibly pushed Natasha from the room before he turned to the man before him. 

“My memories aren’t coming back Tony. I can’t- I took a job in DC.” 

“And this was your answer?” Tony asked, his voice filled with venom as he waved the envelope before him. 

“I need to let go. I need to- I have to let her move on.” 

“The fuck you do,” Tony seethed and Steve frowned. 

“Look, I get it, you’re close with Darcy but if anyone should understand..” 

“What? You think _I_ would? You think because what? I’ve lost so many people or because it took me long enough to give a shit? Look, I put up with a lot between your little stunt with the accords and then bringing Genghis Khan back here after everything he did-” 

“Boss,” FRIDAYs voice piped up, “You’re needed in medical.” 

“But you are more of a selfish prick than I thought you were if you think I would  _ understand _ this,” he held up the envelope in his hands. “Because this isn’t what we do. We don’t run from  our problems Cap and if you were half the man-” 

**“** _ Boss _ ” Friday’s voice was louder than Steve could ever remember it being as Tony faltered, “You’re needed in medical- it’s Missus Rogers.” 

Steve felt his heart leap into his throat at that and he looked at Tony’s eyes widened, his face paling slightly. “This is your fault,” the man said tightly before he turned on his heel and left. 

Steve wasn’t far behind. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE hearing your thoughts.  
> don't be shy! 
> 
> (but do be gentle dears, I cry easily.)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been completely blown away for all the love for this Tropetastic story of mine. 
> 
> I have some other things planned (and already in the works, lets be honest...)  
> Since this is *almost* over. I just have to decide which one I love/hate more.  
> I felt bad about the cliff hanger last time so this one is extra long.  
> There should be just one more chapter (an epilogue of sorts) after this. 
> 
> not beta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Med bay was busy, Steve realized as he leaned on the wall opposite the door where Tony had disappeared to. 

He  _ itched  _ to go inside, to see her, but he made himself stay put. 

He had made his decision. 

“Steve,” he looked up as Pepper came out of the room, shutting the door behind her. “What are you-” 

“Is she okay? Is she-” 

Pepper held up her hands, her long fingers splayed wide as she made a point of shushing him softly. “Steve- she’s- she’ll be okay.” 

Steve sighed and leaned back against the wall behind him, sagging with a relief he felt to his bones. 

“What happened? Was it the lab or is she-” 

“Steve,” Pepper said, a little more forcibly. “Walk with me.” 

It wasn’t a request and Steve pushed himself on shaky legs as he followed after the woman. 

“I heard what happened,” she finally said as they rounded the corner away from Darcy’s room. “Divorce papers Steve? What were you thinking?.” 

Steve closed his eyes, his jaw ticking, “I never wanted to hurt her,” he insisted, “God, I filed  _ because  _ I didn’t want to hurt her. I- I couldn’t keep doing this to her Pepper. I couldn’t keep hurting her because I can’t remember and I just- I want her to be happy.” 

“And you don’t think she was?” Pepper asked softly. 

Steve sighed, “No,” 

The woman hummed noncommittally as they reached the elevator bank and she pushed the button to call an elevator. 

“Look, Steve, I know you. You’re Captain America and I know you have quite the moral compass, but you’re also Steve and you  _ love  _ her. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt her but today- today she was hurt.” Steve opened his mouth but the woman shook her head, “No, look, I’m respecting Darcy’s wishes as best I can but she’s not entirely blameless in this either. I just- there’s more than what you see on the surface Steve and sooner or later- well, let’s just say that Darcy has things she will need to tell you and when she’s ready, you’re going to want to listen.” 

The elevator dinged open at that and Pepper stepped inside. 

Steve blinked as the woman gave him a slow, sad smile. 

“Take care of yourself Steve.” 

And then she was gone. 

* * *

The job in DC was his, If he wanted it. 

And as much as he put it off, he knew that his excuses were wearing thin. In the days following his talk with Pepper he found himself visiting the tower again and again.  He hardly saw Bucky or Natasha and the one time he spotted Tony, the man had turned and gone the other way. 

He wasn’t sure what he was waiting on, some life altering epiphany or perhaps just a glimpse of Darcy so he knew she was okay. 

But three days later, the envelope arrived on his doormat and his hands shook as he opened it to see Darcy’s signature across the line at the bottom of his copy. 

He tucked the envelope away and gave up putting off the inevitable as he started to pack the meager belongings he still kept in the tower and told DC that he would accept the position. 

It took them less than a day to arrange transport to pick them up at the airfield and Steve carried his duffel across his shoulder, heavy like a weight. 

Sharon was there when he arrived, standing with her own bag grasped in her hands and he frowned as he took in the sight of her. 

Something felt…off. 

“You okay?” she asked as he came to stand toe to toe with her. 

“I didn’t know you were-” 

“Oh,” she shook her head, “Yeah, I thought I’d tag along, help you get settled. I mean, if that’s alright.” 

Steve squinted his eyes, looking up at the sky before them before he finally gave a slow nod, “yeah, that’s fine.” 

They waited in relative silence until the sound of engines sliced through it and the loose hairs around Sharon’s face whipped with the gust. She grinned as she reached up to pull her hair back from her face and the simple motion struck something in Steve. 

_ She pulled her hair back, slipping the black band around her wrist over the hair at the nape of her neck. “I don’t see how this is relevant Steve-”  _

_ “How it’s not- Sharon-”  _

_ “I was doing my  _ **_job_ ** _ ,” she sighed, “you can hardly fault me for that.”  _

Steve blinked, his brow furrowing as he looked at the woman before him. She had said something, her mouth moving under the sound of the government issued aircraft there to get them. 

“Steve?” she asked, a little louder as the ladder came down before them. 

“Hey! Wait!” another voice had both of them turning to look behind them.

“Bucky?” he and Sharon echoed at the same time. 

“You can’t do this,” Bucky said as he ran up, “You can’t leave-” 

“Buck-” 

“No, just listen okay. You and Darce-” 

“Bucky,” Sharon said, her voice tight, warning. 

“No,” the man snapped, “You stay out of this.” 

“Stay out of it?” she asked, “I’m embroiled in it.” 

The man scoffed, “Because you can’t leave well enough alone.” 

“ _ He doesn’t remember her _ .” 

“Oh and that’s so convenient for you,” the man snapped.

“If you would just wait,” 

“No,” Bucky shook his head before he turned to Steve, “I’ve done what Helen said to do, I waited for you to come back but I’m  _ tired of waiting. _ ” 

Steve’s breath caught in his throat, his vision swimming and his hold on his bag loosened. 

_ “It’s going to have to be,” Steve said as he looked down at Darcy, “Because I’m tired of waiting.”  _

_ He pressed his mouth to hers once more, meeting her exuberance before she reached down to push his sleep trousers down, exposing his hardened member.  _

_ She was ready for him as he pushed inside of her and she moved against him, trying to pull him further in still.  _

_ “Slow down,” he said with a laugh as he braced his hands on either side of her pillow, “We’ve got all the time in the world.”  _

The memory was fast, fleeting, but that wasn’t it. 

_ Darcy groaned as she tipped her head back and looked up at the ceiling while Steve smiled around the lip of his coffee cup. They had spent a lazy morning in bed before stopping in for a pastry at their favorite bakery down the street.  _

_ “That’s fine Friday,” Steve answered for his wife finally and she shot him a look. “What?” _

_ “He’s going to know we came in together,” she explained as Steve stared; She went on. “He’ll make a joke about how we came together. And to protect your virtue I’ll have to keep my comeback to myself and then he’ll just take that as a yes and-”  _

_ Steve stepped towards her then and she backed into the wall behind her as he tipped her chin up with his free hand, “So let him talk.”  _

Memory after memory flitted through his mind; their first kiss, the time they got stuck in a rainstorm, Darcy’s favorite ice cream, the color of her lipstick against the rim of his coffee cup in the mornings, holding her hand as he opened a thick envelope their fingers intertwined on the table, the scent of her as they lay together in bed. 

He looked up, meeting first Bucky’s gaze and then looking to Sharon. 

“You turned him in.” 

“What?” Sharon gaped. 

Steve laughed darkly, rubbing his hand down his face. 

“We brought Bucky back, you turned him in. They took him-” his voice broke, “They took him and all you could say was that you had been doing your job.” 

“Steve-” 

“He was labeled a weapon of mass destruction.” 

“I was doing my  **job** ,” Sharon insisted but Steve shook his head. 

He turned to Bucky instead, “Darcy, she’s- she signed the papers.”

Bucky nodded, “I know, she’s- she’s selling the apartment. She’s-You remember.” 

“Some of it, Buck, I gotta get to her.” 

Bucky nodded, “Let’s go punk.” 

* * *

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Bucky said as they came to a standstill, the traffic jam in front of them massive and unrelenting. 

Steve’s leg was bouncing up and down, his fingernails digging sharply into his palms inside of his clenched fists. 

“Buck, I can’t- what if she-” 

“Hey, stop it. Darcy isn’t like that-” Bucky said seriously, turning to look at him.

“I just..” he breathed, feeling as though the weight that had been hanging on his chest for months now seemed heavier, “I fucked up.” 

Bucky gave a short breath of laughter before it dried quickly, “you did, but if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be human and right now, I think that’s what Darcy needs most.” 

“If we ever get there,” Steve said before he looked at Bucky, “I’ve got to-” 

“Yeah, go on,” he said with a wave of his hand. Steve moved to get out of the car before Bucky called out to him, “The code is 8309” 

Steve gave him a nod before he slammed the door and took off full hilt. He dodged and dove around cars, ignoring blaring horns and apologizing-quickly- to the people he couldn’t sidestep. 

Even with the serum he was winded by the time he got to the red brick building and his hands shook as he typed in the code on the security box on the stoop, having to do it twice before the door buzzed open. 

He took the steps two or three at a time until he reached the third floor and he skirted around the stack of boxes that stood outside of the door to Darcy’s apartment, his heart stuck somewhere in his gullet. 

With his hands still shaking, he pounded his fist on the door. The seconds ticked by, too slowly, before Steve was knocking again and again and again until. 

“Okay, I’m not answering any faster the harder you-Steve?” She stood in the entryway, her eyes wide behind her glasses, her face bare. “What are you-” 

“You drink your coffee with so much chocolate syrup and sugar, I’m pretty sure they can’t even classify it as coffee anymore yet you  _ always  _ use skim milk. You can’t sleep without a fan on but it’s not the white noise, it’s the feeling of air on your face. You like to drink ice in your orange juice and you have the coldest feet of anyone I’ve ever met.”  He breathed, “You were in fifteen foster homes growing up and only one of them kept you for more than a year. And last year you found out, Tony is your dad but you couldn’t figure out how you were going to tell him… did you tell him?”

Darcy stared at him, her mouth and eyes open wide before she blew out a shaky breath, “You came back.” 

He nodded, “I came back, I’m so sorry I left in the first place.” 

She let out a sob then, reaching up with the back of her hand to cover her mouth and it was then that Steve took in her outfit, her cotton shorts and the tightly stretched tank top over her middle. 

He took a step back as he stared at her expanded midsection. 

“Steve, I can explain-” she said, her hand coming up to tug at the bottom of her shirt. “I just didn’t want to tell you like that. Because you weren’t my Steve. You weren’t  _ our  _ Steve. My Steve wanted a baby, and he wanted to be a dad and he wanted me and I couldn’t- I knew that you would be there for me because even if you weren’t  _ my  _ Steve that’s still who you are and I knew that you would be there. Even if you didn’t want to be and- I really need you to  _ want  _ to be here. I’m- I should have told you. I know that and I’m so so-” 

“Darcy” 

“What?”

“Stop it,” he said as he pulled her close and kissed her face, a slow smile growing on his lips, “We’re gonna have a baby” 

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course I’m not mad sweetheart, I can’t- you’re right. I would have been there and I just- I’m not mad. I am sad I missed so much,” he spoke the last part as his hand hovered over the bump between them.  

Darcy smiled as she reached out to grab his hands, pressing it against her, “Tony recorded most of it.” 

“Tony.” 

“Er, my dad I guess,” she blinked, “it’s still weird.” 

“You told him.” 

“I did,” she said it with a cringe and Steve wanted to remember to ask her about that later. 

“He’s gonna be a grandpa,” he laughed. 

She flinched, “he’s not your biggest fan.” 

“I don’t blame him,” Steve sighed, “I- I hate myself.” 

“Don’t do that.” 

“I can’t help it, I-” 

“You didn’t do anything. And you’re here now, for me. For her.” 

“Her?”

Darcy gave a nod, “I wasn’t going to find out. Not without you.  Tony can’t keep his mouth shut though. He also likes to bribe people.” 

Steve gave a short, hollow laugh, his hand still resting against the life they had made. Their  _ daughter _ . 

“Hey,” Darcy said softly and he looked up to meet her. “You’re here now.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like, literally all of you called the babe.   
> I thought I had been soooo sly.   
> pffft. 
> 
> Can't fool you guys.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for staying with me through this tropetastic story of mine.  
> all mistakes are my own.

It didn’t come easy for them. 

Not right away. 

The memories that Steve had regained had led him back to Darcy but they were merely pieces of the whole. There were still dark spots in his mind that he couldn’t account for.   
He could remember that Darcy smelled like vanilla because she used vanilla scented shampoo but he couldn’t remember her middle name or where she had been born. 

It was like having snapshots in his mind but not the whole picture. 

Darcy had sold the apartment, though he later learned Natasha had bought it in her quest to put down roots, and had started to move back into the tower. 

Tony was happily accommodating her in his penthouse. 

It took weeks to get Tony to stay in the room when Steve was around and even then, the man hardly spoke to him. Steve could see it though, in the way the man looked at Darcy and talked to her, Tony loved her. She was his family, as much as Pepper and Happy or anyone else was. Steve couldn’t blame him and he didn’t push. Eventually Tony had found him on the balcony, handing him a glass of whiskey and clinking their glasses together. “To new beginnings.” 

Steve had merely nodded and accepted the small, yet welcome, peace offering.  

It wasn’t until much later that Steve finally learned what had broken the man’s silence. As they sat in the lobby of the hospital and the man had told him he had seen Steve kiss Darcy goodnight and then lean down to do the same to their daughter still growing within her. 

To Steve it hadn’t been special but to Tony, it had changed his perspective. Steve surmised it had something to do with the time the man had lost out on with Darcy. 

“I’m still pissed,” the man had said as he lit up his celebratory cigar. 

Steve grinned, ducking his head before he gave a nod, “Wouldn’t expect any less… Grandpa.” 

If Steve had ignored the man’s own dopey grin as he walked away, well that was between them. 

Darcy had forgiven him, as much as she could, but he could see it in her eyes every time he walked out the door. The worry and fear that spread through her too tense features and he despised the idea that he had put it there in the first place. He tried his damndest every day to lessen the little line between her brows.

Therapy helped; working with the woman who had helped Tony and Pepper when he had returned from Titan. Steve had joined a group too, support for those with traumatic brain injuries. It was here that he realized how truly lucky he was, despite everything. His temper still flared, his mood sometimes unpredictable. He forgot names and places and sometimes what he was supposed to be doing. There was no perfect ending. 

But they were happy. 

As they laid down on their bed, their daughter gurgling happily between them, Steve’s arm resting across Darcy’s hip as she lay facing him, he couldn’t have been happier. 

“When do you have to leave?” Darcy asked and Steve tore his eyes away from the baby to look at her. 

He groaned as he looked over her at the alarm clock, “In a few minutes.” 

“Do you have to?”

He smiled, “If I don’t Nat will have my head.” 

It was her turn to groan, “This was a huge mistake.” 

Steve laughed as he leaned up and over to kiss her chastely on the lips. “It will be over before you know it.” 

“I can only hope.” 

Steve kissed her one last time before he leaned down to kiss their daughter, “Be good for mommy, Sarah. I’m depending on you.” 

“Yeah, use that chiseled jaw of justice now while you still can,” Darcy laughed, “I have a feeling in a few years she’ll be the one calling the shots.” 

“A few years?” Steve scoffed, “Give it a few months.” 

He leaned over to kiss them both one more time before he grabbed his go bag and walked out the door. 

 

* * *

  
  


“You can’t tell me something like that and expect me  _ not _ to have follow up questions,” Steve said and Natasha rolled her eyes dramatically as she stood in front of him. 

“And when I want to answer those questions, you’ll be the  _ first _ to know,” she answered coolly. 

“Will I?”

The woman raised her brow and Steve gave himself a mental reminder to stop letting Darcy spend so much time with her. 

“Hey, special delivery, coming in,” the door to the cabin opened and Bucky walked inside, his arms full of pink lace, and Natasha batted Steve’s hands away as she gently scooped up the baby from the man’s arms. “You make the drop okay?”

Bucky scoffed, “Me? Not do something perfectly?”

“Right, okay then,” Nat leaned down to kiss Sarah’s forehead before she frowned, “Why isn’t she with Pepper?”

“Pep was a little… indisposed,” Bucky shrugged, then held up his hands, “I promise I didn’t swipe her this time. Pepper was feeling a little under the weather, I volunteered.” 

Natasha sighed but looked at Steve, “give her a kiss and I’ll get her back before Tony has a coronary. Finish that and then get out there.” 

Steve laughed and did as the woman demanded watching as she walked away with his girl in her arms before Bucky clapped him on the shoulder. 

“You good? Cold feet?”

Steve laughed and adjusted his cufflink. “Nope.” 

Bucky smiled, “I didn’t think so.” The dark haired man turned to leave before he stopped and faced him once more, “I just- I never said it before but- thank you. For standing up for me. When Sharon-” 

Steve shrugged as he followed the man out of the door and into the sunshine, walking towards the lake to join Sam,  “You’re my family Buck, that was never a question.” 

“But still-” Bucky said as he took his place beside Steve, in front of their guests, “Thank you.” 

Steve merely shrugged as he turned to see Natasha beginning her walk towards him, “It all worked out for the best.” 

Bucky clamped him on the shoulder as the music softly began playing and Darcy appeared, on Tony’s arm, and everything else disappeared. 

And as he promised her forever once more, speaking- from memory- their original vows, he knew that he would fall in love with her a thousand times again and again. 

He just- hoped he would never have to.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and forth on this little epilogue because while I know that stories with TBIs don't often have happy outcomes, I also had trouble letting our favorite couple not have some kind of happy ending.  
> I hope I did it some sort of justice. 
> 
> Also, big thanks to my friend and complete noob in the MCU (literally she has seen all of two movies and has 0 experience) for giving me the name Sarah. She swears she didn't google anything and I'm apt to believe it was just a crazy coincidence. So, thanks friend, you're on my scoop troop any day. 
> 
>  
> 
> already working on the next one(s) because I, apparently, have 0 self control.  
> Once I decide which one I hate less, I'll be back.

**Author's Note:**

> Little known fact, after an accident we were in, my mother suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury.  
> I was a child taking care of my mother and dealing with her long term and short term memory loss.  
> As well as a short temper, aggression and other behavioral changes.  
> . 
> 
> I will never hold a chapter for reviews but I do really, really enjoy reading them and they make me so giddy that usually I end up posting again just to feel the high.  
> It's a problem.  
> but it could be worse I guess. 
> 
> Again, this story is planned, completed, ready to go.  
> however, I would still LOVE to hear theories, ideas, hopes and dreams.


End file.
